2023 is all about me (kinda)

So 2022 was neither my year, nor not my year. My first couple of months were characterized by trauma, depression and dissociation. However, beginning June, that all began to drastically change. I travelled to different countries, learned more about myself and had the time of my life immersing myself in whatever each country had to offer. But we are not here to talk about 2022. Been there, done that. In reflecting on my personal journey, I have come up with the following 2023 plan centered around the phrase “positive redirection.” Hopefully my ambitions for this year will resonate with or inspire your own <3

1. Consistency: the phrase “new year, new me” typically goes out of the window once those first weeks of January are over. However, there is no progress without consistency. Whether or not you are seeing results, or it becomes less convenient is no reason to give up on goals and routines that help you feel (and perhaps look) your best! I can come up with as many excuses as I want, but I know that won't help me to accomplish what I seek to. I want to challenge myself to stay consistent in the following areas of my life:

• Gym: Three times a week, rain, snow, fatigue, hangover, whatever. The dopamine rush after hitting the gym is always worth it. I currently don’t have any specific body goals in mind, but I want to maintain my physical fitness and the routine of going to the gym for the benefits it offers my well-being, particularly in terms of my mental health. I even have a little photos album named "consistency" where I put a picture of myself after every workout.

• Eating habits: I genuinely want to continue eating healthier, not just for the sake of my body, but for how it makes me feel. I can’t tell you how many times I have just finished eating a huge plate and physically felt my arteries disagree with it. I want to eat food that energizes me which means consistently eating more fruits and vegetables, and pulling back from fast food, unhealthy snacking and over-eating.

• Language Skills: I want to work and live internationally which means building my language skills as much as possible. I keep saying that I want to learn Spanish, yet somehow never practicing hasn’t gotten me very far. As someone who is fully proficient in French after three years of learning it, I know that I can do this. I just have to be consistent with myself and remind myself of the bigger picture. I’m always on my phone anyways, might as well be building up my Duolingo streak.

• Meditation: I want to build up to meditating 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon. I always feel at peace afterwards and it helps to calm down my racing thoughts. I’ll admit it’s difficult to get to an hour right now, but with consistency, I’ll get there.

2. Positive Self Talk: Mind over matter is magic! What you think is how you feel is what you do is who you become. Speaking to yourself negatively will not get you anywhere, but I, and I’m sure others, have unfortunately picked up this habit. I want to work towards shutting down the pervasive thoughts that tell me I won’t succeed or that I’m not good enough. I want to practice being kinder and more patient to myself, retraining my internal dialogue in the process.

3. Being intentional (even if it means being selfish): I want to be more intentional about where I devote my mental, emotional, romantic and social energy because it is incredibly valuable. This also means working on enforcing my own boundaries, something I have had some trouble with in the past. I struggle with people-pleasing and at times, that has resulted in making myself last on my own list. This year, I plan to work on that. Even if I am perceived as selfish, who cares? I am 21, unmarried with no kids. If there’s any time to center my well-being and time, it’s now! Instead of wasting hours scrolling through tiktok, I want to pick up that book I have been meaning to start or finish. Instead of staring at an open google doc for hours unsure of how to begin a paper, I want to take a walk in order to clear my mind and come back with a fresh outlook. Instead of rolling out of bed anxious and exhausted, I want to create a set morning routine involving meditation, journaling and a light breakfast. Even if it means waking up a bit earlier, I know this will do wonders for my mental health and efficiency throughout the day. I don’t want to look back at moments in my life and wonder where the time went. I want to spend time doing what I love and what serves me even if it means pushing myself out of my comfort zone a little.

Friendly reminder from me to myself (and you, of course): a boundary dictates your behavior, not the behavior of others. If someone continues to do something that is hurtful to you, or you continuously feel uncomfortable in a certain situation, enforcing your own boundaries looks like removing yourself from the relationship or situation. This is about you, not them!

4. Listening to my intuition: This is somewhat connected to number #3, but a bit different. As someone who struggles with anxiety, at times it can be hard to trust what my intuition is telling me. However, up until now, my intuition has always been correct in guiding me. I have since realized that my anxiety has actually just been responding to me ignoring my own intuition. Instead of listening to my gut saying “this is not serving you” my anxiety would respond with “why isn’t he texting back? Should I double-text? Am I being too needy?” and so on and so forth. All the while…me, myself and I KNEW the answer. Unlike anxiety, your intuition does not speak to you in shouts of panic, it speaks to you peacefully. It is a spiritual connection meant to protect and lead you. Using meditation, I want to enhance my awareness of self and use that to tap into my intuition. I know that I can trust it, now it’s time to start listening and acting accordingly. This is also in relation to listening to my body, something that I have been doing more of recently than I ever have before. It means not adding so much to my plate to the point where my body forces me to rest. It's okay to say no and it is okay to cancel, even if it is perceived as selfish because only you will pay the consequences of going against your spirit.

5. Reaching out to friends and family: Our time on this planet is much shorter than we think. For years I have been making excuses as to why I don’t talk to some of my family members more or why I don’t check in on certain old friends, but the truth is that we make time for what is important to us. Though I’m single (and for the first time really wanting to stay that way) I have so much love in my life. I have a great community and I want to start reserving more time and space in my busy schedule to check up on them. At the end of the day, you’ll never regret holding the people you love closer <3

2023 is all about me, but it’s also about how in centering myself, I can become a better friend, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, student, partner among others. I had a really fun time exploring last year, but it was difficult for me to feel grounded at times. I didn’t have much of a routine and that came at the expense of some rough mental health days. For me, this new year is all about positive redirection. I want to redirect myself away from the behaviors that I know have not been serving me for a long time. I want to focus on how I can better show up for myself (including my inner child, present and future selves). I want to feel grounded in my routines and my community. I trust that all of these things, and more, are possible. I am filled with so much hope and clarity. Let’s do this!