Joy-less

I wrote this in a particularly difficult time in my life where I wanted nothing more than to escape my surroundings and the darkness that seemed to accompany them

The joy doesn’t seem to stay anymore

not like it used to

I return to the train station disappointed

Back to the place that has already taken so much from me

The joy doesn’t seem to last like it used to

instead of living within, it insists on the external

a day in the city points to happiness

a day in my college town engenders the opposite

The joy no longer seems sustainable

Nor renewable, nor natural

It is ever so fleeting

I wonder how soon it will expire