Looking for a way out...

anyone else itching to move to a country where you have rights?

Source: Views from Dakar, Senegal

I've found myself being very wishful lately. The easy wishes go something like this: I wish I was in Brazil or Morocco. I wish I was at the beach right now. I wish I could find the perfect pair of Black straight leg jeans. The hard ones go something like this: I wish I did not have to feel nervous about me and my Black partner potentially being stopped by the police for no reason during a road trip. I wish I did not have to worry about a possible shooting at a large event. I wish my rights were not constantly under attack by an all powerful Supreme Court. I wish I felt safe raising my future Black children in the country I grew up in.

I want to leave the United States, but it's complicated. It's especially complicated for every person whose family is from another country, specifically an impoverished country, yet had the privilege of growing up in the United States. To my father who risked his life leaving Haiti on a boat in the 1980s so that I could be born in Haiti as an American citizen, the life I have now is the best life that I could have been afforded. I should be grateful. And he's right. And I am. I have opportunities that my family still living in Haiti, especially during one of the most severe security and humanitarian crises Haiti has faced in recent history, could only dream of. As much as I appreciate his, and my family's sacrifices in affording me these opportunities, I disagree that that the United States is where I should create a home for myself long-term. I certainly disagree that wanting better for myself means that I am not grateful for the standard of living I have been afforded while living here. Being an American citizen, I have the opportunity to travel visa-free to nearly every country. I also have the opportunity to move to another country more seamlessly than others. Doing so for the sake of my mental health and safety (as well as the safety of my future family) would be making the most of my privilege rather than wasting it.

I've told others about my desire to live elsewhere, and particularly my wish to raise my future children in another country. Many have been shocked. The look of confusion on their faces was enough to tell me that they simply haven't been paying attention. It isn't only countries in Latin America or Africa that struggle with affording their citizens human rights. We've got plenty of human rights abuses right here!

At times, my desire to live elsewhere is less about what I want to do and more about what I don't want to do. I don't want to have to work multiple jobs in order to afford a vacation once a year—by vacation I mean the two weeks of un-paid vacation that a typical American is afforded each year. I don't want to slowly watch as my home state becomes unlivable for queer people, undocumented people, Black people, and disabled people. I don't want to struggle to get decent health care and still struggle to get insurance coverage in times of need. I don't want to have to overpay to eat food that isn't packed with GMOs or high fructose corn syrup. I don't want to struggle for my voice to be heard and my needs to be respected when I become a pregnant Black woman. If you weren't aware, Black women's maternal mortality rate is over three times higher than that of white women. I don't want to worry if that child will die during a school shooting or during a "routine traffic stop." I don't want that child to be perceived as a criminal just for existing while Black.I don't want to, nor should I, live constantly live in fear of a mass shooting in a church, grocery store, school, you name it. To every American reading this, particularly Black Americans, know that our lives should not be like this.

I am eternally grateful for my chance to live and work in the Dominican Republic last summer and study abroad in France, Morocco and Senegal last year. When I lived in these countries, I had the opportunity to see that there are different ways that I could be living and that I actually preferred them to what life is like in the United States. I remember being shocked by my host mom in France for leaving her cart with paid groceries from one store in the front of another store while she did more shopping. "Won't anyone steal it??" I asked her, bewildered. I'm sure her and my host sisters were also shocked that that would be my concern. Though I'm fully aware that every country has its fair share of problems, there are some things that people living elsewhere just don't have to worry about. Sure my amazon package came in a week rather than two days when I lived in France. Sure I showered with cold water everyday in the Dominican Republic and Senegal. But the whole time I was abroad, the only news reports of mass shootings that I read were from the United States.

I dream of slowness. I dream of peace. I dream of community. I dream of laughter. I dream of hope. I dream of the joy I felt sitting under a mango tree during my summers in Haiti, feeling deeply connected and nourished by my environment.

As I enter my senior year of college, I am looking for a way out. I am eagerly applying to fellowships and international opportunities that will give me a taste of life elsewhere before I am ready to fully dive into life abroad post attending law school. My TikTok is oversaturated with travel vlogs encouraging me to create a life outside of the United States. In a few years, I hope to be living the kind of life that I'm dreaming of as I write this article.