My body’s growing

Reminder: bodies should be neutral. keep comments about a person's body to yourself.

Image Source: @delilahsroses, Sakshi Tyagi

My body’s growing

As bodies normally do

Longer limbs

Thicker thighs

Rounder stomach

My body’s growing

But I protest

I sit inside my head

Knees pressed to my chest

Holding myself tightly

Telling myself not to panic that

My body’s growing

As women our bodies are

Everything. They are

Everything.

The fact that

My body’s growing

Means drifting from archaic beauty standards

It means failing to squeeze into those jeans

That I bought in January

That I planned to wear until November

But were donated in May

Because my body’s growing

The number on the scale looks nothing like before

I press my knees into my chest

Wondering what this means about my beauty

My beauty is my value in this society

My value is my protection here

But my body’s growing

And the "health" articles say to cut the carbs

To diet and to fast

Don't worry!

There are "solutions" to this "problem"

There's no shortage of weight advice to "struggling" women

Who are taught to fear their body growing

My body is growing

So I look at old pictures and long for the days

That a size 2,4,or even 6 would fit

When I wasn't nervous about wearing crop tops

When my mirrors were affirmation free

So my body’s growing

But my therapist says it’s my mind that needs to

That loving myself means loving where I’m at

With or without these 25 lbs

She says that’s the answer

A deep self-love, irrespective of a number

My body is growing

And I just want to breathe through it

Learning to hold myself in admiration

Letting go of the fear

Trying to let go of the fear...