My Strength is Not My Choice

I am so tired of being strong. I am so tired of having to bear witness to a society that is pro-violence and anti-humanity.

You compliment my strength

As if it was a choice

As if I set out every day to endure as much trauma as I can

I am training

Instead of an air conditioned gym

And dumbbells

My gym is a society that has instilled in me a sense of worthlessness

It is classrooms with racist professors who make me feel like I don’t deserve to be there

It is the news of 10 Black elders being murdered while grocery shopping

It is social isolation, cancel culture, and bullying

It is a society in which Black women have the highest infant mortality rate

Where Black queer folk have an increased risk of suicide and abuse

Where the life of a Black man can be taken leaving behind hashtags, kneeling congressmen and paid leave for their murderers

It is a society that allows children to be slaughtered in their schools offering thoughts, prayers but never any real change

I didn’t ask for this strength

I didn’t ask to see my fellow Haitians being whipped at the US Southern Border while fleeing violence, poverty and persecution in our homeland

I didn’t ask to be told time and time again that my natural features aren’t professional, or attractive, or desirable

Even by men who look like me

Especially by men who look like me

See this strength does not belong to me

It is not something I wear as a badge of honor

Something that I have earned through hard work, ambition and dedication

I don’t have a choice but to be strong

Through social media and my own lived experiences, I am well acquainted with every horrific possibility, every untimely death, and every injustice

I am barely surviving as it is

I am barely able to convince myself of my safety

I am barely capable of denying my hopelessness

So don’t compliment my strength

Instead, ask society why is it at 20 years old that I’ve had to be so strong