Au Revoir France

I have been in France for the past 5 weeks and have sadly not had the time to update my blog….so this is what I’m doing now. Once again I am apologizing for how long this article is. Bear with me, I have a lot to say.

France, like the Dominican Republic, was a country that I never expected myself to visit due to its rapport with Haiti. Once I began to learn the extent of France’s colonial presence in Haiti, the more sick to my stomach I would get when hearing phrases like “French is such a beautiful language” or “everyone loves France.” It became exceedingly clear that my perspective on France was an unpopular one. It was one of disdain rooted in the enslavement of my ancestors, exploitation of my country’s land and the steep independence debt that Haitians were forced to pay France upon liberating ourselves. Why would I want to go to France or learn the language that continues to divide my country today?

Well...I have also been conditioned to be impressed by France. Who doesn’t want to visit the Louvre and see Mona Lisa’s nothing of a smile? Who doesn’t want to wear a cute little beret and see the Eiffel tower sparkle at night? Just like the rest of the world, I have always been bombarded by a hyper romanticized version of this country. Despite my preconceived feelings about it, I knew that I needed to learn French if I wanted to:

1. Work for the United Nations one day as French is officially the “language of diplomacy” and one of the organization's two working languages

2. More importantly, be able to play a key role in creating a better Haiti as French is the administrative language of the country

So I sucked it up and learned French, at lightning speed, I might add. I took the intensive courses, suffered through the racism I faced at the French School at Middlebury College and this semester, I decided to study abroad in a French immersion multi-country program. Which brings me to the point of this blog post…my ruminations on France.

It was important that I lay the context out there as my ancestral connection with France has been one of the biggest things that I have struggled with since being here. But first, let’s talk about the positives shall we?

I mean of course France is beautiful, modern, filled with art, wine and culture and so on and so forth. I had never walked past so many breathtaking churches until coming to Paris. There’s a patisserie (bakery) on nearly every corner, sometimes even two! These bake shops are filled with croissants, baguets, chocolate au pain (chocolate croissants) and macarons all for less than 5 euros! France is every dessert lover's dream come true and I made sure not to skimp out on the sweets whenever possible. Another thing that I really have to applaud France on is how intentional they are about everything. The French seem to naturally prioritize art and Château de Versailles or the Louvre (the biggest museum in the world) can easily speak to that. Art aside, the cuisine and simply the act of eating is very intentional here. Eating a meal in France is centered around congregating and community. It is a time of conversation (and wine) so a French meal can easily last 3 hours. It is also common to wait until you know what the main course is to choose your wine (red or white) accordingly. Like what?? That is completely unheard of in the United States…well at least in my tax bracket. Lastly, crowded metros aside, I really appreciate how common it is to take public transportation, at least in Paris. I mostly enjoyed using the metros as it allowed me to be in community with total strangers. There would always be at least one couple holding hands, leaning their head on their partner’s shoulder or just sharing a tender moment. Paris metros are ideal for people watching. 10/10 would recommend!

Now that I got the compliments out of the way…no I’m just kidding. I really did appreciate so much about France but of course there were some negatives to being here. To be completely honest, France is not known for having nice people for a reason. So much so that it can be difficult to gauge whether someone is being rude to you or they’re just French. The French aren’t known to smile often, offer great restaurant service or be warm by any means. I’ll say that I definitely had some great experiences with French people being incredibly thoughtful to my friends and I but I have also cried after being yelled at my a French man after he made me spill my tea. I would definitely not recommend France if you want great hospitality…

Another negative, as mentioned before, was navigating how I felt about being in the land of my colonizer. I would walk around beautiful churches and works of art all while knowing that my people were being colonized and enslaved alongside its production. Thanks to a prize that I received from my college, I was able to visit Bordeaux which is located in south west region of France. Bordeaux is beautiful and is one of the renowned wine capitals of France. In the 18th century, it was also France’s largest slave port and one of the top two slave ports involved in France's Atlantic Slave Trade. Ships leaving Bordeaux and Nantes would be loaded with goods and weapons to be traded in West Africa in exchange for slaves. They would then fill their ships up to the brim, often taking out aspects of the ship in order to accommodate as many West Africans as possible in order to bring them to the Caribbean. As Saint Domingue (present day Haiti) was France’s most lucrative colony with its high population of slaves (slaves disproportionately outnumbered the French in Saint Domingue), the wealth of present day Bordeaux is directly correlated to the colonization of my people. Going there and having to contend with the role that Bordeaux and France as a whole have played in the poverty I see in my country now has been surreal. There’s one thing to know your history, it’s another thing to confront it. When it comes to being honest about its colonial past (and present…) and paying reparations to the people they have harmed, France has such a long way to go.

I’ll include just one more negative…the de facto segregation. I know that France has difficulty admitting that there’s segregation in their country but the facts speak for themselves. During my stay, I lived in a predominantly Black and Arab arrondissement in Paris that is slowly being gentrified. I was the furthest away from my classmates as I had a Black host family and they all had white ones. I would leave the picturesque parts of Paris with glimpses of the Eiffel tower and little to no harassment on the streets to go home to what the French genuinely understand to be a “ghetto.” I lived near one of the most “dangerous” ports in Paris due to the concentration of poverty in the area. The sheer amount of people that were on my metros (line 13 is a nightmare at nearly all hours of the day) was alarming but it is one of the few metro lines that actually go from the suburbs into the center city (disclaimer: French and American suburbs are very VERY different things). The segregation, poverty and discrimination is blatantly obvious. What is France going to do about it? I know that my views on this are very much informed by the way racial and socioeconomic issues are “resolved” in the United States but I feel like France is lightyears behind where it should be in terms of creating a truly multicultural and equal nation. There’s a level of denial here of systemic oppression that is quite frankly exasperating. Don’t even get me started on their concept of Laïcite (a strict separation of church and state) that predominantly interferes with the presence of Islam in the country. There needs to be more of a recognition of France’s past and its present in order to move towards a diverse and welcoming future for its population as a whole. The sad thing is, I’m not sure if or when that will happen.

So there it is, my long overdue blog update. Of course I could have talked about my classes more and the mundane aspects of this experience but I really wanted to put an emphasis on the immersion aspect of this experience and all of the insights that came along with it. These past 5 weeks, I have learned so much both within and outside of the classroom (though there was one class in which I learned almost nothing…). I tried to fit in as many tourist attractions as possible while also trying to take my time and discover this country on my own terms. I was fortunate enough to travel outside of Paris to both Caen and Bordeaux in order to get a different perspective on what France has to offer. I also had such great wine. Overall, I enjoyed my time in France and I know that this is an au revoir (see you again), not an adieu (goodbye). I would love to come back to France and study Afro-Francophone literature or work with a nonprofit geared towards helping migrants. France is one of those places that I know I’ll visit again and hopefully for a longer duration. Maybe I’ll even live here at some point, who knows?

Au revoir France,

Destiny <3